I know that what you all say is right...I just have been making everyone happy with letting them think that everything is ok.
Every time I allow myself to show some sort of sadness, everyone worries sooo much. I mean, I can have a bad day without everyone thinking I am going to do something, right???

I really really really DO want to heal, but I feel like if I don't do it fast enough then people will be disappointed in me. Gosh that sounds really sad, doesn't it?

I enjoy my therapist, I think I am just so worried that she is going to want to talk about something too deep if I am sad or depressed, ya know....the whole "what is going on inside? why do you think you are feeling like you need to crawl into a hole?" I KNOW why, but I don't really want to talk about it right now.

I am at my whits end with putting on a show for everyone, but I am so terrified that everyone will not want to be around me or want to talk to me because all I do is complain or all I do is whine or all I do is talk about myself....See, I am doing it here.

Gonna stop now....sorry

BJ