Well, I think you know what you need to do really.

If you do seperate it is still important for your husband to see the children, you say he is a good Dad. It is important that the children understand that your splitting up doesn't mean that they aren't loved. Carrying on as you are, coming and going and getting back together again is not good for the children either.

Maybe, if you had some therapy (on your own) to help with self-esteem this will help you to make a decision and stick to it.

Good luck.