It sure sounds like you are in a stuck place. You will probably have to rely on yourself to improve your lot. As soon as your youngest is in school, I would suggest taking a part-time job. I've heard that those with part-time jobs are the happiest between stay at home and work full time moms.

Since he's gone so much, don't let his opinions foul all the time you have when he's away. Try to think that he's unhappy with something about himself and he's taking it out on you.

You really can survive this. You just need some ideas of how to get some good feelings going. We're here for you.