I'm sorry you have had such a difficult and painful background. It's really hard to have self-esteem after all that stuff, isn't it? I agree with Tomi. You might need to find some ways to change your environment in order to get away from all the negative messages that you don't deserve. Do you have a therapist, counselor, or case worker? Maybe they can help you. It's not easy to have confidence in yourself after being treated that way for so long, but I believe you can do it. You might want to give vocational rehabilitation a try. They can help you get the skills to be able to support yourself independent of your parents. Or maybe you could also find someone you could trust other than your mother to handle your checks, or even convince your case worker that you can be responsible for them yourself?

I hope that you can make some of these changes in your circumstances. I think that would make more difference for your self-esteem than anything. But still, if you can accept that you are a good person and you deserve better, then maybe that can help too.