Charlie -- I don't think you are being unfair,either. I like Emily's suggestion.

The one thing that crossed my mind is not to teach your child the story that "this side of the family is uncaring, unfair, etc. She may not have much positive contact with them, and that will be hard enough. She doesn't deserve to tote around the negative judgments as her legacy, either. I'm not saying to paint them as saints, just to minimize expression of your hard feelings for her sake.