I don’t have an answer to what it is that you are experiencing. I think when you are raised in such a harsh environment like that and these are your natural reaction to these situations. It will be really hard to change those reactions. I do think by you realizing that the way you react is wrong is a great start and a good therapist will help you change your reaction. I hope your husband is understanding to how you were brought up, and if he is, you have a good man.

And you are brave enough to deal with it, you're dealing with it now right? You are in control of you no one else.

Good luck and take care of yourself