Thank you Wants2Fly. My father was similar to his uncle, the more right he was the louder he was. Many years ago, just before my 30th birthday I was trying to sort out his computer. I emailed a friend of mine (MS IT tech) and he replied. Since my father wasn’t familiar with the person that emailed me, he was paranoid about viruses and did not want me to open the message. While I was sitting there calmly trying to explain, this was a friend of mine and if he wanted me to fix his computer I had to open the email. He wasn’t listening. I don’t know what it was, perhaps a lifetime of being screamed at but I had had enough!

I stood up, looked him right in the eye and screamed right back at him “I’m going to be 30 years old next week, there is not a person on this planet that is allowed to scream at me the way you’re doing now, I will NOT tolerate it anymore! Either you treat me like an adult or I’m out of here!”

My father stood up, I could see in his eyes that he was about to hit me, his fist was clenched, his face beat read, and he was foaming at the mouth (a sign that he’s truly angry). While he was making up his mind whether or not to hit me, I was prepared to walk out of that house with my children never to return. What made him decide not to hit me and calm down, I’ll never know.

A couple of days later, he was outside doing yard work with my oldest son. My son yelled at me for something, a rare occurrence to be sure, perhaps used of Papa’s way of doing things. I told my son that no one is allowed to yell at me, he said “Papa can, he’s your dad.” My father responded “Not anymore little buddy, Papa’s not allowed to yell at her anymore.”

What makes Agoonie’s situation precarious imo is that it sounds like he’s dependent upon his uncle for a place to live while going to school. I know that there are things that I can tell my brother than no one else on the planet could get away with. He knows what I’m saying to him comes from a loving place. He also has anger issues, but he knows better than to address my children in a hostile manner.

Which ever one of your parents that is his sibling might be able to let Uncle know that you’re not used of this type of environment. But again, I think your best bet is to attempt to address him yourself in a non-threatening, respectful manner. I know that you’re paying him rent, but it is his house and even if his manners are lacking, there’s no need you need to be reduced to his level. Good luck!