who told you that you have an ed in the first place?

wishfulmuscle is right, when you have an ed, its hard to see yourself the way that others do, theres like a big wall blinding you from seeing what is real. and until you can realise its there, you might not have a clue of what you're doing or seeing when you look at yourself.
That was the way it was for me. I thought I was bulimic since just over a year ago, but in reading old blogs I realised its gone way further back and I was completely oblivious.

Good luck