> I am thinking, though, that bonds exist on many different levels. I feel connections on emotional, creative, professional, and intellectual asepcts. I don't know that these wouldn't exist without the sexual component-- it is more like there can't not be a sexual component if these connections are preexisting. T said that it is natural for someone to want sexual closeness when that individuals feels such an intense bond with another.... I do feel a persistent need for him to find me attractive/have sexual thoughts about me-- that if he doesn't, then that is a rejection-- and like you said, I am not special to him.

Yeah. I think there can be many different layers / aspects to erotic transference. Wanting to be close, experiencing closeness, wanting to be attractive so someone, wanting them to remain attractive to us is one way erotic transference can manifest... That can be separated out from the sexual / sexualized kind of erotic transference, though. In a way... Sometimes people are resistant about calling the first kind 'erotic'. Something to do with the sexualization of children, I guess. But I surely do get the first kind... And I also have trouble separating it out and distinguishing it from the second kind. And I guess... I was wondering if you did to (and if that manifested in your transference for your therapist and maybe in having some kind of trouble meaningfully relating to people who you don't have that second kind for - such as women and children and men who you are pretty sure you don't feel sexual towards).

I guess that was the distinction I was (and am for myself) trying to get at. So... The thought that there can be a wonderful bond with your therapist in that first sense even if the sexualized feelings come to pass... And if it didn't matter so much if the second kind of feeling came to pass as that wouldn't (at all) threaten the nature of the first kind of feeling... And if the second kind of feeling came to pass that it might even deepen that first kind...

Perhaps...