I’m very conflicted with my T since our last session earlier this week and now I’m debating whether to go to my next session tomorrow. I actually want to drop therapy all together. I’m having a very bad week to begin with. I reached out to him on the phone but he wasn’t very supportive. Then in the session, he wasn’t supportive either. He is a professor and his students say he gets annoyed at questions. Well, at our session, he brought that annoyance with him. He didn’t have a lot of patience with me, and I felt him to be cold and distant. I’m really trying very hard to work on my trauma issues, he tells me so, but at our session his responses were condescending. I know some of you might be thinking that this might be transference, but it is not. I felt a hundred times worst after the session and a very intense anxiety attack afterwards. I couldn’t go to work today. I actually took off and left everything behind. I just want to be alone. I should be able to call him when I get this bad (I have in the past) but I don’t really want to talk to him. It’s the first time this happens after ten months of seeing him. I know Ts are human and that they have their bad days too. I’m normally numb but now I’m flooded with feelings and I find it to be very unmanageable, uncontrollable and scary. I can’t stop crying and feel out of control. Also, today happens to be my brother’s bday, he died only a few months ago. I don’t want to go to therapy tomorrow, I don’t want to feel worst than I already am and I feel like he has let me down. What ever happened to unconditional positive regard for the client? I hate that Ts have so much power over us. To go to therapy tomorrow I would have to go back home but I don’t want to. Running away feels good right now. I feel so alone and scared. I don’t even want to call to cancel. Do you guys think he knows he was like that with me during our last session? I kind of feel like no matter what happens in that room ,it’s always us.