This is important to you, and it is clear that you have deep feelings about it. It is challenging for me to enter into your perspective about it; I kept my later father's name when I married and throughout my life. I agree with those who say --love your son who is still the person no matter what name he chooses. What if he were an international celebrity, like Cher or Bono or Sting, who had chosen a public name to be known by? Would that also be hurtful?