I doubt anyone will post anything back, but I'm desperate for advice and help. I was diagnosed with major depression when I was 11 years old. I've also dealt with binge drinking issues and low self esteem. I am now 19 years and have been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. I have such horrible insecurity and jealousy problems that it seems like all me and my boyfriend do is argue. I love him more than anything and I admire him sticking with me even through my psychological problems (I've been hospitalized for depression and suicide attempts twice since we've started dating). It seems like I can't control how jealous I get. I freak out and have panic attacks when I see him talking to other girls. He's never done anything cheating wise and says he would never even think about cheating on me, but it's like that's all I think about. When he wants to go to the bar with friends, I sit at home crying because I start thinking about him cheating on me. It's destroying our relationship and my life. And I don't think it's him, I think it would be like this with anyone I was with. Because of the low self esteem, I've been exhibiting eating disorder-like habits (calorie counting and intentional vomiting). My boyfriend says he is very hurt by this and he often states that my recovered anorexic friend egged this on. I've never been over weight by any means, I don't think I've ever even been over 115 lbs, but I feel like maybe if I'm model thin that my boyfriend will love me more. He gets frustrated which leads to more fighting. I don't want to feel so jealous any more. I want him to be able to hang out with friends who are girls without me fretting that dwelling on the thought of him cheating on me. Then when he gets home I ask him repeatedly what he did, where he was, and if he interacted with any girls. I hate it, but it's like I can't help it. My depression has been going downhill and I am scheduled to get on different meds in a few weeks which I'm hoping will help. Is it normal that a 19 year old girl gets so jealous? <font color="pink"> </font> <font color="blue"> </font> <font color="blue"> </font>