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At one point when I refused to verbalize something she did it for me... "so he ______" Maybe she has no problem saying stuff... but I do... and I have problems here it said too. Maybe it is necessary that I can tolerate hearing things... I don't know.

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<font color="green">I think you have it right here, you cant say those things so you have not worked through it. I know how hard it is to deal with this stuff, I am still working on it. I find if I i cannot talk it over i cannot feel it and only though talking and feeling and working it through can I become stornger and be what I want and need to become. I refuse to live my life as a victim forever. I am going to find my way to health. It is a miserable path but living here without healing is worse.

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.. Kiya the "you were just a small child being manipulated...." statements are just BS.

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<font color="green"> So how old were you? How much experience did you have in the world - positive experience when these things happened? You were trained and even brainwashed into believing that this was how things are. Now you are an adult and you have started healing so you feel guilty... how long do you need to feel guilty? What purpose does your guilt serve?

Only you can answer such questions. I couldn't find the answers alone but perhaps you can. I am being a bit harsh but you are being a lot harsh on yourself.

Go back and ask your therapist what her goals in talking about this stuff in such detail is. You might be surprised you might find out that you do have to go down that ugly path or maybe you are right and she just wants to exploit you some more. </font>