I so appreciate the input you have all given.

I work for the county as an examiner. Puts me a a bad situation all the way around.

I did mention to her oldest brother that maybe it's time for her mother to step up to the plate. My 1st husband (my boys father)and I split because he was cheating. But if either of my boys ever acted toward their father or did what my stepdaugter did to her father I would put them in the car like they were children and bring them to appologize to their father no matter how old they were. But her mother doesn't seem to want to intervene.

I really believe a lot of her behavior is learned, or at least been allowed from teenage years and not disciplined. Her mom lets her live with her pretty much for nothing. The stepdaughter doesn't work, claims to be afraid to leave her son with a sitter in case he gets molested. (paranoid) Won't apply for Food Stamps even though I'm sure it's hard for her mother to feed all of them. My stepdaughter spends most all of what the boys father gives her on dope for her and her mother.

Her sister tried to talk to her yesterday about getting help and she changed the subject.

Intervention? I'm wonder if maybe it's time for her siblings to step in if mommy won't.

She is planning on getting married next year and her father has made it clear he will not walk her down the isle. He's had enough.