Ok where do i start? I really need to get this off my chest, so i apologize for the lengthy post.

Well i've been in a relationship for 3 yrs. Problem is here, I have an online friend, and we have been talking regularly for the past month although i knew him for sometime. This guy is my 'dream guy', i like him physically, and mentally i guess, and in my mind i see him as a forbidden dream, i live in Europe and he lives in the U.S , so theres no chance for me meeting him, thanks god or that would make things much worse. Well i like him, he likes me back and he flirts alot with me, i like the attention and i do flirt back although i do try to keep myself from doing it, and so i keep the flirting limited from my side, or at least less blunt than his. Many times i find myself fantasizing about going to the U.S and meeting him and that really excites me. I mean all the trip thing and meeting him, he's also a couple of yrs younger than me, and he is quite independent and different from the guys i encountered i guess because he's a foreigner, and all that fascinates me.

Im quite bored in my relationship, although i feel i love my bf and i feel safe with him, still this other guy makes me wondering whenever i talk to him. And yes i feel guilty for this, see, i kind of go alot by morals, and i know me fantasizing and lusting over this guy is not right, but i cant help myself. im so confused. I was thinking of stopping talking to this guy, at least not regularly but he's kind of a good friend so i feel bad not talking to him, and i do enjoy speaking with him,regardless of the flirting. The major problem is that im kind of sensitive to this things i almost begin to obsess about him sometimes. And when im with my bf sometimes i think of this other guy and i feel so guilty i began to ignore my bf because i feel ashamed. Still if i was single i would think of traveling all the way to the U.S to meet him, and sometimes he does mention alot of what if's, and jokingly he implied quite a few times that someday we will meet. That makes me even more guilty, the fact that i fantasize about it too.

So yeah i guess the question is what is this? is it me falling for this guy? for now im sure its just infatuation, but why? why cant i feel the same excitement for my bf? why i feel so drawn to this other guy? *sighs* Am i cheating?

thanks for reading this all through, any opinions, suggestions or advices are appreciated.