Dear Bama Survivor:

You have a lot of good input here. I'm going to do my best to put in a list for you. When I am freaking out, I become cognitively disoriented. Too much input is hard for me to absorb. So my main purpose isn't to add anything to what others have said, but maybe make a list that puts things in a kind of order:

1. Getting out of your current situation will be challenging. Everything that has happened to you has taught you to feel helpless. But there are actions that you can take -- even though these may seem scary and impossible at first. You are 18 and have a right to name who will receive your checks and to find a living situation that is better for you.

2. Talk with your SS advisor. I know you have said that they think you are crazy at SS. This makes things very challenging for you. Be calm. Write down what you need to say on notecards, if you have to. Practice what you have to say, in your car or anywhere. YOU CAN DO THIS!

If think that you need support to do this, find someone to go with you. Because your friends are online, where can you find support:

a. Churches in your neighborhood. It usually doesn't matter if you are a member or not. Explain the situation to someone. Even if there is no one there to help you, the probably is someone there who can direct you to appropriate agencies.

b. Use the Yellow Pages telephone directory. Look under counselors. Call one place after another, until you are directed to a sliding scale or free place where you can get advocacy.

c. Try the Civil Liberties Union. They usually just take on the "headline" cases. But someone who answers the phone may direct you where you can get legal assistance dealing with SS.

3. You say you have beaten an addiction problem. Are there drug counseling services you can go to? They often are networked into housing and other resources. Perhaps you can find a roommate or group home where you will be happier.

4. Try AA meetings. Again, people attend who are networked into various kinds of social services. Keep going to one meeting where you feel comfortable. The point is not necessarily to use the meetings for support to stay clean, but to find local friends who understand what it's like to beat an addiction. Friends who can help you deal with SS, get out of your bad living situation and build a better life for yourself.

Take care, Bama. Best wishes and many hugs.

(((((((((((((((((((BamaSurvivor)))))))))))))))))))