(((((chaotic)))))

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chaotic13 said:
Hearing different reasons and excuses doesn't change anything.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Agreed. Cognitively, you may come up with many explanations, but this often does not provoke change or healing.

I hope you can tell your T how you interpreted her behavior towards you and how you felt after your revelations and after she "forced" you to give up details. Sending an email to her to tell her you quit does not work through any of this. If you can't talk to her in person about these things, then I think that shows you are not ready to quit! Did you tell her in your email what your experience of the session was? Or did you just tell her you are quitting?

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"Forced" might be a bit strong. Repeatedly asked would more accurately describe it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">The client can always decline to answer questions. The client can always change the topic. The client can always say, "back off, T!" This is setting boundaries. It's OK to do it. You need to let your T know your boundaries so she can respect them. If you get closer to your T and trust her further, you can relax your boundaries and allow her to come even closer. It's easy for me to say this, but not easy to do--I definitely am still learning. (My T says I have some of the most porous boundaries he has ever seen.)

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I just want to slap the adult me for being stupid enough to be sucked into a disclosing stuff that is long over and done with.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Was it stupid because it made you feel bad? Would therapy be more effective if you didn't disclose things to your T but wore a mask?

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if you have any illusions that your T might think, wow I push pretty hard better make sure she handling it OK, think again. They don't really give a crap what happens to you after the session.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Are you certain your T did this to you deliberately? Sometimes T's don't know and need to be told when what they are doing is not helping you.

I'm so very sorry this session was so traumatic for you. I hope you can share your experience of what happened with your T and learn what her intent was. And perhaps hear an apology.... You know, there is nothing wrong with saying to T, "I felt such and such a way when you did that. I need you to apologize to me and promise you will never do that again." There's no guarantee what her answer will be, but there is nothing wrong with stating your needs.