I don't think you are seriously defective but I sure understand the feeling, I've had it myself.

For the longest time I didn't have any friends and eventually that was okay, I needed lots of time alone, therapy, and time working on diminishing anxiety. I may never be a really social person with lots (or even two) of close friends.

I think there are more of us than we think. Television, movies etc tend to portray what we then think is normal, but it may not be at all.

Some of us are just built different too. Some of us are introverted, some of us just need occasional chit chat with acquaintances, some of us have many close knit relationships.

I like to think of things as an experiment, that when it comes to self discovery and improvement, all results are more information, and there is a wide world of things we can try. It is possible to change our way of being in the world, our way of behaving and communicating. Therapy can be a great help.

As can a place like this.