You don't suck. You are facing this head on. I think it is a good idea to just wait on the chip until you are stronger. No big hurry, I doubt they will run out of them!

Alcoholism runs in my family too. It was alarming to me when I realized I was "turning into them." If I would have continued on the path of drinking and using, I would be like them. But, just like you, I have chosen a different path. One with much more light.

Hang in there--you can do this!