emilyj, I don't know what's right for you in this situation. It sounds like this group member is very hostile. If it were me, I would not feel safe with her around me after the fan incident and her "get off your A$%" statement. Her statement "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings" shows she just doesn't get it at all and therefore is still dangerous. I would not attend any groups of which she is a member.

I'm sorry I don't understand your therapy structure. You are in two different things: DBT and group therapy? But the DBT is also as part of a group? And the hostile person is in your DBT group but not your Wednesday group? A question I would have is it sounds like your Wednesday group therapist somehow communicated with the hostile person and told her to apologize to you. This is a breach of confidentiality. That therapist should not have told the other member what you said to her. How does the therapist even know this hostile member? Because hostile member is in your DBT group, not your Wednesday group, right? This would make me not want to go to DBT group because of the hostile member and also not go to Wednesday group because of the therapist who cannot be trusted.

For these reasons, I would probably drop out of both groups.

Sorry, it's probably not what you wanted to hear. I tend to be intolerant of people and things like that, or maybe it's just my stage in life right now, when I am sick of taking c**p from people after doing it for many years. But also keep in mind that I have never been to group therapy so I may not understand how it is supposed to work. However, there are other groups in the world. Why stick with an unsafe one?