tavares, I try not to give advice...but, here I go anyway. Try to find a good, really good pdoc or therapist who understands what you are struggling with. They can help explain things to you and, if needed, get you into a hospital. If you feel you really are in eminent danger of hurting others or yourself, go to the ER. Okay, I will stop with the advice.

For me, the teen years were a very turbulent time. Matter of fact, I would never want to have to redo them. You are going through enormous stress...physically and emotionally. Don't count yourself out...you can be a part of society...a good part of society. Please see a good therapist or pdoc.