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Sunrise said:
You are not being childish. The adult in us can feel pain, get overwhelmed, be hurt--all of those things. You are an adult who has a right to feel those things. Feelings are not the sole province of children.

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I would say this same thing to others and I really believe it. Yet some how I can't seem accept that it also applies to me.

Today I am looking all my ranting yesterday and I almost can't believe how much I truly hate that 10 yr old inside of me. And I mean "hate" and that is not a word I typically associate with. I can't think of anyone else (ever) that I would actually say that I hated. Even my abusers I have compassion, understanding, and forgiveness for, but nothing for myself. I would never feel this way about a child (even an axe-murder child). I know I've stated before that I wanted to get rid of the little girl ego state, bah, bah, bah... I just never realized until now how deeply I hate her. I guess I have some thinking to do on this issue.

TY