(((chaotic13)))
I'm so sorry you had such a difficult session.
Sometimes I think words are too "logical" to express the depth of some experiences. I don't know why, but after reading this thread I had an idea for you. Maybe if using words is too much, you could use some art to express your feelings.
Grab some markers, crayons, paints...and just draw. Draw your frustration at your T, or at your 10 yr old self, or even just draw something beautiful in your life. Whatever you feel the need to express.
many, many

Owl