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I ask because I have been so puzzled about my own lifetime of behaviour and it seems to me that something was planted in me, a hidden agenda - of other's disowned shame, or at least one way or another I absorbed it, ........

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I asked my T about this because I wondered if internalizing included another's perception of us.. so if our mother disliked us, then would we internalize that dislike and turn it on ourselves. That sounds similar to what you're saying. My T said yes that is not only possible, it is what happens.

If so then it must create great conflict in our unconsious.