Oh, with all that waffling I forgot to say the obvious. I am afraid to bring up the counseling again because:

A) I am worried he is just too weak at the moment. For the past 5 months there has always been something wrong with him; a bad flu, depression, exhaustion, too much to do at work, etc etc. I feel as if there is just too much going on to force yet another thing on him to deal with. I feel as if he needs to realise that if he has too much on his plate it's because HE is putting it there himself. I am not around to give him chores or complications of any description, so if he's up the walls it's totally his own doing. Realising all this and blah blah blah takes time. How would I know how much.

B) I don't want to be rejected yet again and in a significant way. I don't want to hear the litany of things that are pressing on him which preclude his giving this attention at this time. I should say that he keeps in far more contact than I do, that he is sweet and caring and practical about it in many ways. Just very limited. If he rejects it, then what do I do? I can't get a straight answer out of the man. I can get only vague responses. I see his confusion, torment even - he's not faking it. Maybe he's more sick than I think. What do I do if he says no?

Sorry, Gordian, I know I am trying to work him out. How can I help it. Mmm, I was going to say you can't force a sick person to get better or even to get treatment, but of course you can.

Did it, in the end, in your situation, really come down to what YOU needed? Like you said? Just knowing your own limits and stating clearly that they'd been reached? That sounds easy. Why isn't it.

S