Vett...

I read your posts and wnated to give you some feedback froma woman's perspective. My husband went through a lot of the same things that you have experienced including depression and acting out inappropriately. You need to give your girl friend some time to heal and sort things out for herself. She may later come to realize what she had with you and how much she has lost.

It is certainly not admirable to have bailed out on you when you needed her the most, but then you have not behaved admirably either. We are all human with human weaknesses and frailties.

With that said we should be allowed to make mistakes and also be allowed to fix them. Her cutting you off before you have had achance to address your issues is a bit premature. I know that my decision to stick by my husband was the best decision I ever made. Becasue now he is so thankful and appreciative that I was there for him that he would do anything for me. If a relationship can survive such an incredible test it can become stronger. Her loss is that she will never know if the relationship could of become stronger. She should of given it a chance.

But, it may not be too late. Back off and give her a bit more time. She if she comes to you of her own accord. She may realize that you are worth it. She may actually care deeply about you and be worrying about you. She should of allowed you the chance to talk to her though. That would of been the mature, responsible and adult thing to do. Seems that after a long term relationship that is a reasonable thing to do. Blocking you out is running away from the problem and not facing it. You can't run away forever. By not talking to you there will always be a loose end, no closure.

As much as you seem to be beating yourself up about the mistakes you have made seems that she has made mistakes as well. I am sure she is in a bad place now and would rahter put the walls up, ignore it and hopes it goes away. That is not a very healthy approach to dealing with any problem in a relationship, no matter how large.

If she is really the one for you, if she really loves you then she would make the effort to reach out to you. I know from experience that when someone is depressed that they need someone to reach out to them. She should of made a bigger effort to do that. She may later come to regret it.