Hi Sunrise,

Thank you. Lines in the sand, hmm, yes, it's good to know them which all comes back to knowing yourself doesn't it. I think that's the problem with other people, in a nutshell, they confuse things for each other. I've been thinking recently about how different all this would be if we had children. Would it be easier in some way because having small people dependant on you makes things very clear in some ways. Then again, it would make it even harder to know what I need myself.

I'm kind of sad about not having kids. I only decided about a year ago that I was finally ready to have one. By then things were going pear shaped. It wil soon be too late. I think one of the reasons I didn't want to have one before is because I've always felt I'd then have two kids to look after. Probably a lot of women feel that way, and then it really turns out that way, but somehow it's probably all worth it in the end. All of which is neither here nor there at the moment.

Anyway, yes I need to get talking to a counselor. That much is clear. I have a couple of appointments next week. I rang a bunch of them, left messages, and then when they got back to me a couple of days later I just went ahead and made appts with two that sounded likely. I'm wondering now how to decide which one to stay with. One of them spent about 15 minutes on the phone with me and talked about a 'transition' phase of my life and mentioned that I might not need that many sessions in response to my worry that she was expensive (€70 an hour). Good point. The other one is cheaper because she works with an organization that subsidises some of her patients. I mean, 'clients'. Will I know from one meeting which one is better for me?

I'm going to do some research on choosing a therapist and how to know which one is right for you.

Thanks for being there.