((((((((Halliebeth))))))))

Maybe this isn't exactly what you are looking for, but I hope it helps you. I was reading an explanation of why children blame themselves for abuse. If they attribute it to their parent or caregiver, then that makes someone the child depends on and needs for survival unsafe and someone the child cant trust. Children need to trust their caregivers. If abuse is attrubuted to some random element beyond the child or caregiver, then the world is too unpredictable and there is no control, and that also is unbearable to a child. Blaming the self is the safest, because if I am at fault, then if I could just get everything right, then I could control and prevent the abuse. Even though you are not at fault when you are abused, it is less threatening to assume that it is your own fault. If you can deny that you are abused at all, then so much the better, no?

As you mature, you do become in a better position to make the abuse end, and make yourself safe. You're still traumitized by the things that happened to you, but if you can put them in the past, establish a life that is free of abuse (and be able to recognize that you are no longer being abused), and take care of your future, then you can overcome it.

You might not want to hear it, but psychological or emotional abuse is abuse, and it hurts at least as much as other kinds of abuse do. However, it is harder for social services to intervene because there isn't physical evidence. Sad, but true.

Take Care,