myzen. You sound amazingly wise and knowlegable about psychology, i could easily take you as being a professor. I think the zen thing is the way to go, and can imagine how great of a feeling it must be when your with that group of people and holding hands... (which can cause some nervous anxiety ) and then feeling totally comfortable and taking in the experience. I am definatly suffering from this described ailment and have reached that point of having no relationships to 'avoid all the hassels'. I'll research this and hopefully overcome this in time. thanks-j.l.