I've read what you have shared here and I sure don't see you as doing stupid things or being weird.

When our little ones surface they want to do things they like to do, like eat kid foods. Nothing wrong with that!

When my little ones were active years ago I bought them paper dolls, and my BF bought them stuffed toys. I'm sure people visiting wondered why I had a bed covered in monkeys and bears. Let them wonder. My littles needed nurturing and to feel like someone cared and that they mattered!

As I accepted them and came to appreciate the part of my life they had experienced I wanted to care for them and do things for them. Playing with dolls and eating ice cream was a small way to repay them for their roll in my survival.

My life became much more peaceful when I could accept them and feel real gratitude.

The folks here can understand what you are feeling. There is no need to feel embarrassed, none at all.

I got to a point in my journey where I had to set boundaries with them, but that could only happen when they knew I cared about them and wasn't trying to punish them or that I wasn't ashamed of them. Took years to get to that place. Be at peace with where you are today.

Your life might be different from others you know but it's yours and it can be OK.

Be kind to yourself and to the others.

Judee