I admit I am (sometimes) weak.
I admit I've been thinking about SI again.
I admit that I'm scared that I'll relapse.

I guess I apologize. I want to be able to be supportive of people, but I let triggers get the better of me. I know, self-care first (as I've said to others), but I still feel badly for not being here.

August 20th marks 1.5 years of being free from self-injury.

Some days the urge isn't there. Some days it is.

Some days I feel so weak like I'm about to give in...

But I don't, and I'm not sure why.

I guess I want to mess up to prove once again that I'm a "screw up" who can't do anything that she sets her mind to.

But I won't. I'm scared of not being a "screw up". Weird. But I'm not. Nobody is, because this is a hard thing to beat.

Thanks for reading my rambling.