Hi {{{Roz}}},
I know what you are talking about. I've felt that way all my life. Are you getting help? I'm sure you must be working hard at feeling better. Each time you do feel a little better, let us know so we can be happy with you--give you a good pat on the back 'cuz it is hard work.
I just started getting help with a P for MajDep and I'm just starting to feel a few days of happy-near-normal once in awhile. I'm told that eventually, the waves of darkness will grow shorter and the waves of happy-normal will grow longer. I'm working hard to help it happen and each time a good wave comes, I feel a bit better about myself and my capabilities because my P can't make it happen without me working at it. I know you will get better. HUGS, JourneyUpward