OMG-You sound like me!!! I have been refusing the meds also. Both my T and MD are pushing for it. But the side effects scare me.
As far as therapy, I'd hang in there. I get very frustrated in therapy also. I want to be healed quickly, but T says it took time for me to get where I am today so it will take time to heal. She also says "I'm fighting the process" and slowing myself down. I just can't help it.
Just hang in there and vent on PC!