I know I am gonna get shot down in flames by lots of people for this but this is how I see it.

If your husband wont sort his son out then he would not be allowed in my house under any circumstances as I have enough on my plate to deal with and anything else is too much.

On another thread you said he somtimes plays you .... that he can talk drive and walk etc. That he shouts as well, well you dont have to put up with it I certainly wouldnt, in my books he helps all he can or I would take my kids and leave him to it.

There, my shoulders are broad tonight so I can take what is thrown at me, throw away.