Hi Silver, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. It sounds like you aren't getting your needs met very well in your relationships and that your role in these relationships is just to meet their needs. I had to learn a lot about meeting my own needs and stopping being a service to others to meet their needs. People get like this because of how they grew up. They grow up having to meet the needs of others and not their own needs. This is very changable. I did it!

On another website I learned from others who SI that they do it because they have all of these unbearable feelings all bottled up and because they haven't learned how to deal with these feelings and release them, etc., they SI instead. To not SI they had to learn to release their feelings.

I also grew up not knowing how to deal with my feelings. These skills are definitely attainable at any age and at any point in your life. We were supposed to have learned these things when we were growing up. If you didn't you can learn them now.

I have also learned from others who have had drinking problems that they do it to drown out their feelings. Here again the trick is to learn how to deal with your feelings.

If you want I can continue to tell you about what I have learned through my journey.