You talking is not crap, you need to let it out and this is one way to do that. I know how you feel, I'm like that most of the time myself, if you have to cry, then cry, holding it back makes it feel worse. Try taking some deep breaths, relax and close your eyes and picture yourself in a save place, or go for a short walk to see if that helps. I have tried EFT Emotional Freedom Tech a/k/a Tapping and sometimes that helps just to relax. It may feel strange, but if you're alone don't worry about it and try it. Tapping.com is the site! If you need to talk more, you can PM me and I will listen. O'ya, I sometimes scream into a pillow to release the feelings.