I wish it was as easy as getting up and leaving. There are consequences to that action. You then have to share custody and I am not comfortable leaving my children with him (he falls asleep eating dinner). So I kind of feel like I'm stuck.

Maybe my sacrifices are more selfish then they appear. Am I staying with him because I love him and want to help him or am I staying with him because I don't want to go through another divorce and split custody with the kids? I don't think I could bear leaving my children alone with him I would go insane. And that's if I get away with leaving him. He is already a depressed person, who has combat pstd, who is physically and mentally broken, who is heavily medicated. If I left him it would add to his stress, he has told me that he would hurt himself and he would be taking people with him. I really don't want to push any buttons with him, he's not stable, and he knows I won't push his buttons. So the answer for me is there is no out, I am stuck in this Hell hole of a relationship.

So I’m not this great person that is standing by her man, there are more selfish reasons why I’m staying with him. Sorry to have deceived some of you I think I even fooled myself.

Thanks for all of your replies and I'm sorry if I've repeated myself from other posts. I just get feeling this way and talking to you guys gets my head back up and some new ideas on how to cope with my situation.

So thank you everyone!