Shame sucks!! Seriously, it is my least favorite of all feelings. I don't mind guilt so much, it says that I have done a bad thing and need to make it right. Shame says to me I am bad person (and then I feel that nothing I can do will make it right). Still, it is just a feeling.

My suggestion is to try to remember that feelings not all powerful. We don't choose our feelings, but we can choose whether or not to let them dictate how we think about ourselves. We don't choose our feelings, but we can choose our thoughts and our actions and these can help us to feel differently in the future.

If you have a spiritual grounding, this can also be very helpful with shame. Reach out for support from someone who understands God's grace.

Hope some of this is helpful!
- FT