I'm trying to figure out how to get help for my eating problems.
I told my therapist that I wasn't eating anymore. He told me to schedule an appointment with my pcp. He said he doesn't think I have an eating disorder...but I don't know how he can know that because we didn't really talk about it. I don't want to find a new therapist but I don't know if he completely understands.

The thing is, I hate eating. I mean, I like certain foods and I have cravings sometimes, but I hate the way I feel when there is anything in my stomach, I hate the way it looks like I've gained 5 lbs when I eat even the smallest snack or meal. I know I am not at a healthy weight anymore and I don't care. I barely eat anything unless I just can't stand it anymore, and I exercise intensely every day.

I just got back from vacation and all the swimming and fresh air really stimulated my appetitie, plus I was with my husband all the time and he won't leave me alone unless I eat. I gained 2 lbs which freaked me out and now I am back to hardly eating anything.

I know these behaviors and feelings aren't healthy, but I can't stop them on my own. I DON'T WANT TO START EATING ALL THE TIME AGAIN.

I guess I'm venting a bit...sorry for my rambling. I think i know I need to find someone who will help me. I just don't know if I am motivated to change right now.
thanks for listening.