AAAAHHH!!!! I'm so mad!!! I just found an email from a friend to another friend talking about my self harm and being so horrible!!! Grr!! No one knew till there was an incident a few years ago and I was very drunk and cut myself in front of everyone. I was so unhappy and messed up, I guess I thought their response would be caring and worried, what was I thinking? I understand its difficult to get your head around and I can understand being afraid but if I was in their position I could not sit by and watch a friend hurting so much, even thinking about suicide, I just can't understand. Don't I deserve to be cared about?
I was doing really well and I thought I had moved on but now I feel back to square one, I don't know what to do. I know I'm just ranting but I am so angry and need to get these feelings out somehow, am planning to get ery drunk tonight to blot it all out, I know is not a good idea but I can't listen to myself anymore.