sorry to hear you are going thru these hard times Soveh... standing and falling, standing and falling gets to be old and tiresome, i hear you... but i think its true that each time we get back up we are a little stronger... true, it doesnt always feel that way... im sorry to hear that some plans youve made or dreams youve had arent working out right now... can you keep the dreams but adjust the plans? ... it is scary to do, but sometimes we need to try new and different ways of doing things to achieve different results.. your son and husband sound like swell guys and your regard for them is obvious... that alone makes you a good person.. please never give up hope...