Thanks so much guys.. but my reason to be a member of PC is because i have no one... to talk in real life.. or whatever... My personality is.. well, i dont talk about my things with nobody.. just to you and thats because you dont know me, and you cant see me. I tried to keep a journal, and i hated it... 'cause it just showed me that i get worse everyday ..i do not want to keep a record of that... I cant afford a therapist, im tryin to get a scholarship (so i wont talk to ..a counselor ..in my college)... And the suicidal thing, hadent happend yet just because im curious.. you know.. the false hope of ever be happy... 'the storm comes before the calm'.. blah blah... And of course i dont want to be myself.. existing is stupid and usless.. -excuse my expression, this is.. not to depress anybody... this is my philosophy, really.. im sorry, you.. be happy!!-