I hate being bipolar so much it Fn sucks! Im on the down side right now and it hurts so bad .Just the never ending pain sucks the life right out of me to the point where dying would seem peaceful. I love being manic its a natural high .I don't need to do drugs or drink I feel so good when I'm manic but you always know you are going to have to go down and it sucks it's like going into HELL everything sucks everything hurts and all I wont is for the pain to stop!!

I'm just venting its hard to talk about it most people just don't understand .My wife will ask me why i don't tell her but how can I bring someone i love into that hell so I hold it in .She left me once because she couldn't handle seeing me in that much pain she didn't know what to do for me and this was before i started taking meds.Know i understand why but then I didnt .I need to let out a scream where know one can hear it so here goes .

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
I HATE Fn BIPOLAR .Please let me go up today!