Thank you all

I really thought it couldn't be anything but the .... that people don't like to talk about

(I've been on bromocriptine for a (misdiagnosed) "brain tumour" which completely messed with my insides, as well as psych meds which also messed things up inside..

But my mother died of ( ( ..... well if someone has to get this its better a "bad" person like me, probably part of me feels I deserve to be punished all my life like some in childhood and later have said, so bring it on

But I'm phoning the doctor today and will insist on being looked at

I've had so many doctors who completely didn't care and/or made wrong diagnoses (and lied to me) I felt I was undeserving and have been labelled "neurotic" .. seen it in my notes

I'm such an idiot.