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marcelodlanod said:
And the suicidal thing, hadent happend yet just because im curious.. you know.. the false hope of ever be happy...

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I am glad to hear about your curiosity. It is a wonderful thing! Indeed, you never know how wonderful the future might be if you just stick around long enough.

I don't know where you live, but most everywhere I can imagine counselors are held to a very high standard of confidentiality and I can't imagine that seeking counseling would affect a scholarship.

Do you have a doctor (a primary care doctor or pediatrician or anyone)? It sounds like your health may be at risk because of your low weight and digestive problems. Please take care of yourself!