Not real clear yet only bits and pieces, feelings, smells. I was very young so young no words. My dad's cruecut face appears. My brother and cousin appear. They are 10 years older than me. I have a vission of being carried into the woods and not understanding why and then I cry. My sister made me breastfeed her kid when I was 11 because she was to drunk. She then proceeded to tell all her friends this. I am knew to this there were many some i set myself up for because I thought that was all I was good for. I was abused emotionally and mentally by my mom, dad and sister and brothers. Sexually by my dad, brother, cousin, my brothers friends and I think I heard my mom?

I find it so hard to trust anymore. My T is great and she has helped a lot but this is so hard. Then I was married for 20 years and not recognizing abuse he abused me in all ways and I found out after he left he also abused by daughters. I feel so angry and at the same time so guilty that I didn't protect them.