Hi HappyFish. Since many guys would run, not walk, away from a girl with a mental illness, my hat's off to you. Hopefully your girlfriend knows how lucky she is.

Regarding your question, here's a list of pointers for you to help your girlfriend live with bipolar disorder, adapted from this website at healthyplace.com:

Supporting Someone with Bipolar Disorder

1. The mental illness your girlfriend suffers with is something that is also happening to you and the people around you. All are affected and it is nobody's fault. It is not your fault and not your girlfriend's fault. It is an unfortunate illness.

2. You cannot fix your girlfriend. There is nothing you can do to cure her illness, so don't feel compelled to try. What you can do is be supportive, loving and handling the everyday details and practical issues of life that she cannot cope with.

3. You and your family and your friends all have a responsibility to cope with the illness. Escape is not a helpful way of dealing with crisis. You all need each other.

4. The ill girlfriend must recognize and accept the illness, be willing to receive treatment, and if possible, learn to manage the illness. If the ill girlfriend is not willing to do these things, it may become impossible for you to continue to support him or her. You are not required to throw away your own life for someone who refuses to cooperate. There are limits and they must be enforced without feelings of guilt.

5. Educate yourself concerning every aspect of the illness. Education brings compassion. Ignorance just encourages anger and fear.

6. Grieve your loss. It is a great loss. You need to allow yourself the time and energy to experience the entire process of grieving.

7. Get help for yourself to cope with this incredible challenge, either from your own counsellor or a mental health support group. You can't do it alone. Don't refuse to recognize your own need for help, just because the ill girlfriend is getting most of the attention.

9. Try to create a safe environment for your girlfriend to express herself without feeling threatened, constrained or condemned. She desperately needs a nurturing, safe place to express the incredible frustration she is feeling about coping with mental illness.

10. You need to share your feelings, honestly and openly. It's okay to feel angry and cheated. At times you may feel embarrassed by the ill girlfriend's behaviour - avoid trying to protect your girlfriend by not discussing the problem with family or friends. Family secrets will only isolate you from others.

11. Never put yourself in physical danger. If you sense your girlfriend is becoming dangerous, you should leave and call for professional help. You should never tolerate abuse. Trust your instincts and intuitions on this one. Say, "no way" and mean it.

12. Become your girlfriend's advocate with the medical professionals, assertively involved in her treatment and medications. If the medical professional or psychiatrist won't cooperate with you, demand a different one! Find a professional who will work with both of you. You know more about your girlfriend's illness than anyone else. Trust your instincts.

13. Coldly assess what your girlfriend can and cannot handle, and compensate assertively. Some people with mental illness cannot handle money, some household chores, time commitments and too much stress. You must not do things for your girlfriend that she can do for herself. Don't rob him or her of their dignity.

14. Maintain your own identity; resist becoming consumed with your girlfriend's illness. Life goes on. You have an obligation to yourself to take care of yourself and meet your own needs. You must continue to develop your own interests and talents. You are a valuable human being, so don't play the martyr role and sacrifice yourself. That's just self pity. "Get a life."

15. Always hope for healing. The medications do work and new ones are being developed. You may get your girlfriend back whole some day. If nothing else, the experience will broaden and deepen you in ways you never imagined. Or, you can choose to let it destroy you and your relationship. It is your choice.

16. Keep in mind that bad things happen to good people and you're no exception. You have not been singled out for a special persecution. Trying to make good choices in life won't protect you from misfortune. You haven't been "dumb" to "get yourself in this situation." It is not your fault. Life is not easy, we have to take what we get and make the best of it.

I hope that helps. My wife is bipolar and I'm quickly becoming a self-made expert on her illness, so if you have any other questions, ask 'em.