Purple, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I understand what you are saying when it is scary when you let others get too close. When we were growing up we were supposed to be learning how to have good personal boundaries. Many of us were not fortunate enough to have been taught this. It wasn't our fault! We were only children. We were supposed to be taken care of correctly by adults. Good personal boundaries help us to protect ourselves from others. When you don't have these the simplest situations send us reeling. These boundaries can be learned! I did it!