I've felt the sexual energy of your sessions through your posts, even when you weren't explicitly discussing it. I'm not a very sexual person, but I think that some of the dialog you've shared would arouse sexual feelings in me with any reasonably attractive male. The fact that he admitted it isn't all that much of a difference.

Maybe because I'm not a very sexual person, it doesn't seem inevitable to me that it would lead to physical intimacy. I've certainly been in friendships that weren't going anywhere, but that got a slight extra charge from small levels of attraction. I don't think that's a bad thing in general. I think it may be more problematic in therapy.

But I am also very aware that any relationship with attraction on both sides, and where the attraction is frankly admitted and discussed, can become foreplay. Whether it leads to actual physical intimacy or not, whether the tension buildup leads to masturbation or fantasies during sex with a partner, prolonged arousal in a relationship, even without a release, can be very pleasurable. Just look how many TV shows are built on that concept, not to mention the number of movies where it plays a part. "I really want to have you, but I can't because of circumstances" can be more arousing and enjoyable than "I really want to have you. Ok, now I have."

There is a fine, but distinct line, between discussing an attraction and acting out on it, even if the acting out doesn't involve physical contact. It takes a certain amount of detachment on the part of the therapist not to get caught up in the whole thing.

I hope that he is checking in with himself to discover if he's gaining gratification and pleasure from the arousal. Or if he's truly able to take a therapeutic stance.

I have no real idea whether he can or not. And it is his responsibility not yours. But my experience is that when therapists come out of the spell of any sort of intimacy, and realize that they've gone too far with the boundaries, it's the client who pays the price. That's not just true of sexual boundaries, but any sort of boundaries.

Sigh. I think therapy in its purest form is similar enough to the romantic mating dance programmed in our deepest brains that it can lead to sexual attraction. If you add mutual attraction and discussion of mutual attraction... Sounds scary to me. Which may just be my own issues cropping up.