Staying with a friend for a little bit while I'm in the city until GF and kids come over.
The friend does drugs. Not often and not at home, and I know loads of people who do/did drugs, but I'm not sober right now (failed again) and he's really lousy at hiding them and I know where they are all. I want to go find them and take right now so bad.
Plus I checked out his medicine cabinet (I'm awful

) and he has the prescription painkillers I crave too. I took a few of them last night and wound up sick this morning but I don't think he noticed I took them. It would be so easy to slink into his bathroom and grab a bunch, then go to his room where he keeps the rest of them and grab those.
Couldn't he at least hide them better? Told my GF on the phone and she says I should stay with another mutual friend earlier then planned (they're coming over here soon and we were all going to stay with a rather responsible friend for a bit as moving stuff gets settled) but I almost don't want to because I get SUCH each access.
I don't know HOW you achieve being clean & sober. I just keep giving up.